


Say It First

by RecklessSerenade67



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F, I Love You, Vanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 12:54:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15049517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RecklessSerenade67/pseuds/RecklessSerenade67
Summary: We all need to hear those three little words soon and this is my take on how it may happen.





	Say It First

 

Guilty.

 

The word rang around the courtroom and for a split second, it's all Charity heard. The cheers, the celebrations, the cries of joy as justice was finally being served up, she heard none of it at first, not for a few seconds. She felt her knees weaken from underneath her and knew if Vanessa hadn't been holding her upright, one arm tucked protectively around her waist with her hand tightly gripped in her girlfriend's, Charity was certain she would have collapsed in a relieved heap on the floor. Suddenly, the exhaustion hit her full on like a speeding train that wasn't for stopping. She had been through some shit in the past, some really truly horrible shit but everything with Bails, past and present, that trumped everything else put together. 

 

Slotting her fingers through Charity's, Vanessa lightly squeezed her girlfriend's hand in her own as Bails was led away, still pleading his innocence, still lying through his teeth as he went but the smaller blonde noted the visible obvious fear in his eyes and it gave her a serious amount of satisfaction to know that he was terrified deep down. She'd never been one to pray for misery to land on others but this time she could make an exception and she really didn't need to say out loud how much she hoped that man would suffer for the whole of his sentence. It wouldn't change what he did to Charity but it was something and given how tough the last few weeks and months had been, this was the best possible outcome.

 

Making their way outside, Charity scanned through bodies in the hope of catching Ryan. She knew he had pretty much upped and left as soon as the verdict was read out, Irene leading him away, back to the safety and comfort of their home. She couldn't blame the other woman for shielding him, it was clear she loved, adored and did everything possible to protect him, like any Mother should. Charity was grateful to her for that, for being the Mother she didn't get the chance to be to her Son. She wasn't sure what steps were next but she hoped she'd get a chance at some point to put some things right and build some bridges. 

 

"It's over Mum," Debbie approached, gently pulling her Mum into a tight hug before drawing back, Chas basically launching herself into the briefly vacated spot that followed.

 

"Proud of you,"

 

"Hmmm," Charity simply hummed, her emotions choking themselves in her throat as she accepted the embrace from her cousin. At first, she wanted them nowhere near court, the thought of them hearing the awful things about her past only made her want to chuck her guts up but there was something comforting about their support today and she was grateful they were standing by her side. For so long, she had dealt with all this alone and now she wasn't. She was far from it.

 

"Come back to the pub, yeah?"

 

"We will," she nodded, a weak smiling lingering on her lips as she reached for her girlfriend's hand again. "Just, give us half an hour or something, alright?"

 

"Mum, he'll get in touch when he's ready," Debbie offered gently. Finding out about Ryan was a shock, a big one but as soon as her head got around it, she was hoping to get to know her Brother and form a relationship, make up for all the years lost. They hadn't spoken yet, not properly and only exchanged names a couple of weeks ago.

 

"I know babe,"

 

"Just give him a bit of time,"

 

"We're just going to go for a little drive I think," Vanessa added, softly squeezing her girlfriend's hand. She sensed the other woman's need to have a little bit of time away before returning to the normal routine that life brought. They had craved for some normality lately, getting the boys ready every morning for nursery, hopefully doing it together as it meant they'd spent another night together. Some normal routine family time, who'd have thought it? "We won't be too long then we'll come back to the pub,"

 

"Okay,"

 

"First round is on the house," Chas said, linking her arm with Debbie's. 

 

"I won't say no to a free tipple," the smaller blonde grinned, briefly exchanging see you laters with the other women before she walked Charity to the car. Jumping in, she fixed up her seatbelt and slipped the key into the ignition, not yet starting the engine. Shifting her body to the left, she spoke again. "You okay?"

 

"I will be,"

 

"Do you want to go anywhere in particular?"

 

"Not really no," she shrugged, a sigh following. "I just don't want to go home yet, I'm not quite ready for that. Is that okay?"

 

"Of course it is, whatever you want to do is okay with me,"

 

Vanessa's heart had broken countless times for Charity in the last few months. From confessing everything about her past in the back room of the pub, to reliving it in court in front of a bunch of complete strangers, none of it was easy. On the days the landlady stood up in that room, going through everything in fine details whilst the questions kept coming at her from all angles, all Vanessa wanted to do was run over, take Charity in her arms and protect her from everything.

 

And then there was Ryan. He struggled at first, visibly it was clear the information that was being brought to light was all too much for him to take in but he was tough as old boots really, much like his Mum and the smaller blonde hoped and prayed that somehow Charity could finally have a relationship with him. Even if it took time, it was clear that's what they wanted. Just not right away.

 

"Do you think he was scared? Bails, I mean,"

 

"I think he was terrified, could see it in his face as he got taken away,"

 

"I hope he rots for the rest of his pathetic little life,"

 

"He will. Charity, that man can never hurt you again," reaching over, she lightly traced her fingers down her girlfriend's jaw, Charity briefly closing her eyes as she savoured the contact. "No man will ever hurt you again, I swear,"

 

"A proper little hero you, aren't you?"

 

"Of course," she smirked. "Might even dig out that cape again. Seriously though, I'm so proud of you,"

 

"Before you, I don't think anyone had ever said those words to me,"

 

"Well I hope you heard them because I meant every word,"

 

"I hear every thing you say to me," reaching up, she removed Vanessa's hand from her cheek, clasping their fingers together like she often did these days. It still amazed her, how safe she felt with such a simple action. "Thank you, you know, for everything,"

 

"You never need to thank me,"

 

"No babe, I do," she nodded, chewing her bottom lip as she felt the tears sting her eyes. She really didn't want to shed anymore of them today. She had cried enough of them to last a lifetime. "There's no way I could have done all this without you,"

 

"I'd say we make a pretty good team, me and you," Vanessa grinned, tucking some of her girlfriend's blonde curled locks behind her ear. She had no doubt how strong Charity was, she'd witnessed it first hand every day for the last few months but even the strongest of people needed support and she was glad she'd been enough. "What about Ryan?"

 

"I think he needs some space," Charity replied, sucking in her left cheek for a second or two. "I said this morning before we went in there that he could call me whenever he wants, whenever he's ready, if that's what he wants to do but there's no pressure. The last few weeks have been really rough on him. I can't imagine what he's thinking,"

 

"He spoke to me earlier," she confessed, seeing the look of surprise wash over her girlfriend's face. "It was only briefly before we went into court,"

 

"Wh... What did he say?"

 

"Told me to look after you, no matter what happened today, he made me promise that I would. He cares and in time, he will be in touch,"

 

"I just wanted to say thank you, tell him he should be proud of himself,"

 

"You will be able to but just not right away. Everything's going to be okay, I promise,"

 

"I hope so babe,"

 

In the end they drove home, opting to take the more scenic route which added another twenty minutes or so onto their journey. Neither of them cared too much, happy to enjoy the extra time just the two of them. Shifting a little in the passenger seat, Charity slipped her hand to a resting point on her girlfriend's thigh, smiling when she realised that no matter where they were, no matter what they were doing, she craved contact with the shorter blonde. She'd certainly never had that with anyone else before but in Vanessa's company, the feeling always overwhelmed her.

 

"I'm going to pick up Johnny from Rhona's," Vanessa announced, parking up the car around the back of the pub. "And on the way back, I'll collect Moses from Ross',"

 

"What would I do without you?" 

 

"You'll never have to find that out. Do you want me to come straight back or do you want some space? I can take them to the park or something,"

 

"No, bring them here. I could really do with having you and our boys around," as the words left her lips, she noticed a change in her girlfriend's facial features. "What?"

 

"Nothing. It's just you said 'our' boys,"

 

"Well, they are aren't they? Last time I checked anyway,"

 

"It just felt good to hear it,"

 

"It felt good to say it too," she responded, an almost shy sort of smile lingering on her lips. "We'll order dinner when you get back, get the boys a pizza or something. Anything you fancy?"

 

"Besides the hot landlady you mean?"

 

"Oo smooth," she giggled, they both did and Charity realised it was the first time in such a long time that she had laughed so freely, with no weight on her shoulders. Unclipping her seatbelt, she moved across, hooking her hand behind her girlfriend's neck before she closed the gap between them, softly capturing Vanessa's lips with her own. "Without sounding like one of those really needy girlfriend's, don't be long at Rhona's,"

 

"I won't,"

 

"I mean, I know she's your best friend and everything and today has been heavy, so I'll totally understand if you want some time away from it all,"

 

"Charity, I won't be long," Vanessa assured with a grin, she really found Charity's nervous rambling adorable. "I promise,"

 

"Thank you, you're amazing," the words left Charity's lips so easily and she sincerely meant them too. Vanessa was amazing, beyond amazing really and for the first time ever, the taller woman truly felt like she trusted someone. Without expecting anything in return, without asking for anything, Vanessa just cared for her and she had never had that before.

 

"I'm n,"

 

"You are, don't argue with me,"

 

"Bossy,"

 

"And we all know you love that. Well, everyone under that roof at least," winking, she chuckled as her girlfriend's cheeks turned a deeper shade of red. Taking a breath, their gazes locked and Charity felt her heart thump loudly in her chest before she decided to dive in feet first. "I love you,"

 

The confession made her throat hitch as soon as the words left her lips so freely. She meant them, of course she meant them and Charity wasn't expecting to blurt them out in that moment but they had been lingering on the tip of her tongue for so long that this felt like the right moment. She was beginning to lose count of the number of times she almost said it, the latest being just a few nights ago when Vanessa climbed into bed next to her. The vet thought she was asleep and Charity stayed still, allowing her girlfriend to believe it simply because she was exhausted. Dropping a kiss onto her cheek, Vanessa whispered, telling Charity everything was going to be alright in the end and in that moment, she almost spun around and declared her love for the other woman. Almost.

 

"Charity?" Vanessa's voice was soft, so soft and gentle, her own heart was thumping in her chest and her stomach was resembling a washing machine. Reaching out, she used her fingers to tilt her girlfriend's gaze back to her. "Say that again,"

 

"Wh... What?"

 

"What you just said, say it again,"

 

"That you're amazing," she offered, the thump in her chest slowly returning close to its normal rate as she teased in her usual manner. Chewing her lip, Charity released her hands and ghosted her own over her girlfriend's cheek, her thumb caressing Vanessa's smooth skin. "Or that I love you,"

 

"That, exactly that," her stomach somersaulted like never before as she heard the words she hoped she'd hear. Her heart fluttered, her face bursting into the happiest geeky grin.

 

"Generally, people tend to say it back babe,"

 

"Do they?" 

 

"Ness," she rolled her eyes, a sigh slumping her shoulders a little.

 

"I love you too, you daft mare,"

**Author's Note:**

> I've been so back and forth about them telling each other they love one another. At first I was sure it'd be Vanessa saying it first, but now I think Charity and actually really want it to be her too. What do we think?


End file.
